Behind the Puddle

Behind the Puddle began with a place.

It began with a chair, a shallow body of water, familiar wildlife, changing weather, and the decision to become more attentive to what was already happening around me.

But over time, it has become about more than the puddle. It has become a way of noticing what it means to be human.

As I have sat behind the puddle, listened to the people around me, reflected on my own life, and continued my work in advance directive planning and end-of-life conversations, certain needs have appeared again and again.

Not medical needs.

Not tasks to complete.

Not boxes to check.

Human needs.

The need:

• To be seen
• To be heard
• To belong
• To matter
• To remember
• To be remembered
• To be welcomed
• To be accepted
• To be understood
• To be loved
• To be witnessed
• To have a place

These needs do not disappear when life becomes difficult.

They do not become less important because someone is aging, grieving, living with illness, experiencing change, or preparing for an uncertain future. In many circumstances, they become even more visible.

Advance directive planning is often approached as a conversation about medical decisions. Those decisions matter, but they are rarely the whole story.

Behind every instruction is a person. A person who wants to be recognized. A person who wants their voice to carry meaning. A person who may be wondering whether they will still belong when their needs change. A person who wants the people they love to understand not only what decisions to make, but who they are making those decisions for.

This is also true beyond advance planning. It is true in families, friendships, neighborhoods, caregiving relationships, workplaces, communities, and the brief interactions we have with people whose stories we may never fully know.

We are continually walking alongside one another’s human needs. Sometimes we meet them well. Sometimes we overlook them. Sometimes we offer someone exactly what they need without realizing it. At other times, we may believe we are helping while missing the deeper need beneath their words.

To sit Behind the Puddle is to practice noticing. Who has not been seen? Who is trying to be heard? Who is standing at the edge and waiting to be welcomed? Who needs reassurance that they still matter? Who is carrying a memory alone? Who needs someone to witness what has happened without trying to fix it? Who is searching for a place where they do not have to prove that they belong?

These questions do not always have immediate answers. They are not meant to become another list of expectations or another standard we fear we will fail to meet. They are invitations.

Invitations to become more aware of the people beside us. Invitations to listen more carefully. Invitations to recognize that a person’s needs may be expressed through their words, their silence, their stories, their behavior, their traditions, or the things they are afraid of losing.

The Human Needs will be explored here gradually. Some may eventually have a Puddle Story attached to them. Some may be reflected through the Waypoints. Others may grow from conversations about advance directives, grief, caregiving, community, memory, belonging, and what it means to walk beside another person.

Not every need requires an analogy before it has value. Sometimes naming the need is the beginning.

Behind the Puddle is a place to pause long enough to notice these needs within ourselves, to recognize them in others, and to consider how we might help create a world in which more people feel seen, heard, welcomed, understood, loved, and assured that they have a place.